the island…

January 18, 2007

If you have known me for more than about a week, you don’t need to read this because youve probably already been sentenced to the island…

otherwise you should know…     lest ye be punished.

Long story short,  I am the future leader of this planet…

I will one day run the whole place… chances are ONLY for one day…

this is because of my final solution to all war…

as far as I can tell, wars are caused mainly by 2 things…

1.    racial and religious bigotry

2.    hippies

therefore, as soon as I take over the world, I plan to rid the world of both these things in one final boom…

to do so I need a couple things, and island, access to all of the world’s people, and access codes for a few nuclear weapons…

then its just a matter of putting the ingrediants together and bake until finished…

now comes the simple task of figuring out who to send to the island..

well, it starts off easy enough, hate groups, green peace, etc..

then it gets a little more complicated.  See for this to work I need ALL hippies and bigots with no attention payed to the degree of the offense…

therefore, anyone who protests my policy = hippie

anyone who chastises the protestors = bigot

thus my single day rule, seeing as how my disaproval of current policy makes me a hippy and my disaproval of hippy behavior makes me a bigot…

after the island is sufficiantly charred, I figure anybody left living on this fine blue planet will have little to no oppinion whatsoever about much of anything, therefore achieving what every then dead hippy beauty queen ever asked for..

World Peace.

the female psyche…

January 17, 2007

So with one blog under my wing, I feel its time to stretch out and explore the full range of topics filling my daily life…

Today, I decided that I have made some small progress in decoding the workings of the female brain…

Example 1… loving, yet easily distracted girlfriend…

After years of dealings with various men in her life, she has learned that most of what men do (tv, music, video games, sports) is of little to no interest to her. Typically the more interesting the subject to a male.. the less interested she is…

to test this theory I used something she truly likes… gossip… in this case it was in the form of blog message boards that concerned her and myself. With her in my lap I read semi aloud every word with the utmost intensity in my expressions.

Even with her ever nosey and often jealous nature, she failed to notice a girl (hereafter referred to as “the nord”) describing the type of dampness she would experience while dreaming of yours truly.

Example 2… The nord…  possibly a borderline personality but as yet unconfirmed…

having seen a picture of me intoxicated and posed with a large replica of a phallus, she ascociated me with sex, therefore deciding that I was indeed “sexy”

with this idea firmly implanted into her mind, I then created a blog…(see previous posts) after reading my blabbering, her crush began to waver…

seeing my chance to avoid future conflict should I ever decide to visit Europe, I moved in for the kill,  with one swift post I vanquished her lustfull ideas of “dildoman” thus ensuring my future safety should my girlfriend decide in the future that maybe she should read over my shoulder..

In conclusion, man may not ever fully understand the workings of the female brain, but with constant testing and evaluation of results,  we may constantly peak a little further into the chasm betwixt a woman’s chewy ears.

blog blblog blog blog

January 17, 2007

ok stop deleting stuff…

yay….

ok now that thats finished…

here is my inner outer monolog…

blink blink blinkblinkblinkblink…

ok so that didnt go so well, I was watching the cursor… or is it er?… oh well…

how bout a story?.. yay a story…

so my best friends are now bloggers…

I was kinda upset cause I thought I had lost them to the other side…

Ive just never been so angry that I could type a paper about my thoughts on a particular subject…

wow, I just figured out that my return habbit is gonna make this thing long…

anyways so they want me to blog too…

but I dont have anything to say…

so I was doing random searches on google to find the one with the most results…

Sarah says “stop wasting time and blog”

I says “isnt that what blogging is…?”

and then I said “yay thats what I can blog about..”followed by about 36 exclamations of the inside of my head on the outside of my facial area…

and then I drank some tea…

and said I had to go and “blog like ive never blogged before” cause I havent…

the end…

Hello world!

January 16, 2007

yay…

Im a blogger…